Rejection Hurts
Have you ever felt that your heart as been torn out and placed on the floor and then stepped on. Same except the part where my heart has been steped on. But I think that’s the upside, that is not getting stepped on.
The reason I am saying this is because I have been rejected. I haven’t even confessed yet I was rejected. Is it sad that I kind of knew it was going to happen. So, let me tell you the story. Before I continue, it was very difficult for me to write this. It brings me back lots of details. Fresh to my eyes. So, please when I post this I do not any questions asked personelly or writen. Just take what I gave you and don’t mention it.Basically yesterday was the last day of
school. We were getting our year books and I was really happy. All my friends were going to write in my yearbook. My yearbook was almost full. I tried to get Adam to sign Hermia’s yearbook, but that didn’t go well. So, my goal was to get George to sign my yearbook. This was my last chance. I got my yearbook fully signed and I had little bit room. So, I saw him. I kept pacing back and forth. First, I started walking and then I would hesitate and decide not to do it. Then I thought ‘what the hell am I doing” I told one of my friends to wait. But they kept asking me where are you going and I said. Chill. Then I said “ I am going ask George to sign my yearbook” They wished me well. Then I walked towards him. He was sitting near a tree on the edge of the step. I looked down and I asked “ Will you sign my yearbook” He responded by shaking his head then saying no. I said okay and walked away. And told my friend he said no. But then one of my friends kept yelled what what. I wanted to yelled for her to stop because I was so in shock and embarrassed. I was smiling and saying “don’t worry about it I’ll tell you later”. So, then my friends pulled me to another section and told me “ its okay ayan” I was like” I am find I am just shocked”. I didn’t feel anything but this shaking feeling. Fear. From when I went there from when I came back. It didn’t sink it for about a couple minutes. I just wanted my friends ti stop talking about it. I was really embarrassed. Who tells anyone no in the first place. Ultimate diss. The feeling I feel is not a crying feeling at the time but a feeling when u swallow a dry pill or something. My heart felt bad. I don’t know if this is called hurt or not. But from when I was on the bus to when I got home seems to have gotten worst.
I am hideously ugly that’s all I can think. I am hideoulys ugly is all I feel. He doesn’t even know me and rejects me. Maybe if I was prettier this would have ended with a happy ending. Maybe if prettier I wouldn’t have been humiliated. I am tired of being told I am pretty when I am obviously not. When the person you like doesn’t think your pretty must mean you are ugly. Unless you are obviously pretty and the guy is just being a jerk ( but this is NOT the case.). I am really sad. So, sad that I am not able to open my mouth perhaps only communicate by some typing. I even feel sick. I feel like I am going to cry but you know what I don’t want to cry over guys. I want to cry because all the tears in me are giving me a huge headache. I just want cry for my embracement. I am going into estate of depression. So, this must be real depression when you don’t want to talk to anyone. I just stay in my room and not bother going downstairs. Room is so messy I don’t want to even look at it. Listening to music and watching movies to keep my mind busy. But exams are a head and I can’t concentrate.
I am even to humiliated to tell my good friends. Hopefully, this is won’t last long. But I am the best faker ever. Ever see me happy now days I am truly not happy. I can smile right at you and I am lying. Even after the rejection when I headed back to my friends I smiled. Like nothing bugged me. BUT THEY WERE WRONG. I wish this could be fixed but it can’t. What do I do? I don’t know. No advice that I don’t really know can’t help me no.
By the way i didnt edit this post because i was to afarid of remembering my detail by rereading it. Honestly i had to stop typing at some points
The reason I am saying this is because I have been rejected. I haven’t even confessed yet I was rejected. Is it sad that I kind of knew it was going to happen. So, let me tell you the story. Before I continue, it was very difficult for me to write this. It brings me back lots of details. Fresh to my eyes. So, please when I post this I do not any questions asked personelly or writen. Just take what I gave you and don’t mention it.Basically yesterday was the last day of
school. We were getting our year books and I was really happy. All my friends were going to write in my yearbook. My yearbook was almost full. I tried to get Adam to sign Hermia’s yearbook, but that didn’t go well. So, my goal was to get George to sign my yearbook. This was my last chance. I got my yearbook fully signed and I had little bit room. So, I saw him. I kept pacing back and forth. First, I started walking and then I would hesitate and decide not to do it. Then I thought ‘what the hell am I doing” I told one of my friends to wait. But they kept asking me where are you going and I said. Chill. Then I said “ I am going ask George to sign my yearbook” They wished me well. Then I walked towards him. He was sitting near a tree on the edge of the step. I looked down and I asked “ Will you sign my yearbook” He responded by shaking his head then saying no. I said okay and walked away. And told my friend he said no. But then one of my friends kept yelled what what. I wanted to yelled for her to stop because I was so in shock and embarrassed. I was smiling and saying “don’t worry about it I’ll tell you later”. So, then my friends pulled me to another section and told me “ its okay ayan” I was like” I am find I am just shocked”. I didn’t feel anything but this shaking feeling. Fear. From when I went there from when I came back. It didn’t sink it for about a couple minutes. I just wanted my friends ti stop talking about it. I was really embarrassed. Who tells anyone no in the first place. Ultimate diss. The feeling I feel is not a crying feeling at the time but a feeling when u swallow a dry pill or something. My heart felt bad. I don’t know if this is called hurt or not. But from when I was on the bus to when I got home seems to have gotten worst.I am hideously ugly that’s all I can think. I am hideoulys ugly is all I feel. He doesn’t even know me and rejects me. Maybe if I was prettier this would have ended with a happy ending. Maybe if prettier I wouldn’t have been humiliated. I am tired of being told I am pretty when I am obviously not. When the person you like doesn’t think your pretty must mean you are ugly. Unless you are obviously pretty and the guy is just being a jerk ( but this is NOT the case.). I am really sad. So, sad that I am not able to open my mouth perhaps only communicate by some typing. I even feel sick. I feel like I am going to cry but you know what I don’t want to cry over guys. I want to cry because all the tears in me are giving me a huge headache. I just want cry for my embracement. I am going into estate of depression. So, this must be real depression when you don’t want to talk to anyone. I just stay in my room and not bother going downstairs. Room is so messy I don’t want to even look at it. Listening to music and watching movies to keep my mind busy. But exams are a head and I can’t concentrate.
I am even to humiliated to tell my good friends. Hopefully, this is won’t last long. But I am the best faker ever. Ever see me happy now days I am truly not happy. I can smile right at you and I am lying. Even after the rejection when I headed back to my friends I smiled. Like nothing bugged me. BUT THEY WERE WRONG. I wish this could be fixed but it can’t. What do I do? I don’t know. No advice that I don’t really know can’t help me no.
By the way i didnt edit this post because i was to afarid of remembering my detail by rereading it. Honestly i had to stop typing at some points
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