Depressions of a 16 year old
I can say that I never really felt “depresstion” before until I hit 16. Which is now. Just recently I now do feel depressed and I hate it. I hate this feeling and at first I didn’t even know what it was until I felt it. I don’t want this feeling upon anyone, but then I would kind of be lying. You will understand after reading more of my little explanation. My explanation on depression and stress and where it had deprived from.
Emotions are awful. Every emotions I feel its kind of sucks. Even happy emotions get me sick. When I am excited my stomach hurts because all of the excitement. When I am sad or angry my head hurts. When I am content, I am numb and possibly not even human.
Explanation of why I am writing about depression. Here is the story that happen to me. The names have all been change in order to for me to be more willingly write this.
Well let me tell you how have been feeling lately. It simply feels like no one really gives a damn. The fact I have a huge crush on this guy. Let me name him George. The fact that one of his friends, named Adam wont help me stresses me out. I literally took all my courage just to tell his friend. And he is such a lazy bum that it doesn’t even seem to phase him. The fact that Hermia told me that he George called me ugly really kills. Yeah, I didn’t show my feelings, but it really affected me. Even how much I try to convince myself that it couldn’t be true because Adam sister told her( by the way she doesn’t like me at all) it still does. Plus on a side note Adam told me
I can say that I never really felt “depresstion” before until I hit 16. Which is now. Just recently I now do feel depressed and I hate it. I hate this feeling and at first I didn’t even know what it was until I felt it. I don’t want this feeling upon anyone, but then I would kind of be lying. You will understand after reading more of my little explanation. My explanation on depression and stress and where it had deprived from.
Emotions are awful. Every emotions I feel its kind of sucks. Even happy emotions get me sick. When I am excited my stomach hurts because all of the excitement. When I am sad or angry my head hurts. When I am content, I am numb and possibly not even human.
Explanation of why I am writing about depression. Here is the story that happen to me. The names have all been change in order to for me to be more willingly write this.
Well let me tell you how have been feeling lately. It simply feels like no one really gives a damn. The fact I have a huge crush on this guy. Let me name him George. The fact that one of his friends, named Adam wont help me stresses me out. I literally took all my courage just to tell his friend. And he is such a lazy bum that it doesn’t even seem to phase him. The fact that Hermia told me that he George called me ugly really kills. Yeah, I didn’t show my feelings, but it really affected me. Even how much I try to convince myself that it couldn’t be true because Adam sister told her( by the way she doesn’t like me at all) it still does. Plus on a side note Adam told me
it was never going to happen'. Oh hear this, George now knows I like him because a jerk who is plan evil announced it for his class. My confession was never supposed to be like this.
I see Hermia in class. I am still frustrated by the fact that all these things are in my head. I begin to tell Hermia a truth. A “truth” she told me that affected me deeply. I start to tell her that Adam knows she likes him. She then goes into a shock. I sit there and watch her face. While I watch my new developed stress slowly display on her face. I have no emotions at this point. Numbness you can say. As if my emotions went to her for a moment. She then goes by asking me some questions. She is obviously very sad by this news. How could she do this to me? How can she tell this kind of hurtful news and watch me so content. I feel the guilt of what I just did. And that wasn’t even the full story.
I could of gone on by saying more. I could have said that he didn’t like her ever and never would. (By the way, he told me that in his own words).But why would I hurt her by doing this? But she could obviously do it to me. I know she would do it to me. Why wouldn’t she? She already hurt me by telling me that George had said I was ugly, even though it was in fact a LIE. Perhaps she was using him as an excuse to say what she thought of me or whatever Adam sister thought of me.
Friends seem hopeless at this point. I know they are lying to me when they say I am pretty or something. Because I know friends have to say those things. It hurts the most when they don’t say anything. They just become silent. I know what they are thinking though. I am not stupid. Can anyone really help me at this point? Or am I always just going to be the helper. When will anyone rescue me? When will the helper be helped? Help me with out making me lose my dignity. Say something to me. Just tell me and I want to believe you guys but its to cliché and it seems like stupid advice.
*- Help the Helper*
I see Hermia in class. I am still frustrated by the fact that all these things are in my head. I begin to tell Hermia a truth. A “truth” she told me that affected me deeply. I start to tell her that Adam knows she likes him. She then goes into a shock. I sit there and watch her face. While I watch my new developed stress slowly display on her face. I have no emotions at this point. Numbness you can say. As if my emotions went to her for a moment. She then goes by asking me some questions. She is obviously very sad by this news. How could she do this to me? How can she tell this kind of hurtful news and watch me so content. I feel the guilt of what I just did. And that wasn’t even the full story.
I could of gone on by saying more. I could have said that he didn’t like her ever and never would. (By the way, he told me that in his own words).But why would I hurt her by doing this? But she could obviously do it to me. I know she would do it to me. Why wouldn’t she? She already hurt me by telling me that George had said I was ugly, even though it was in fact a LIE. Perhaps she was using him as an excuse to say what she thought of me or whatever Adam sister thought of me.
Friends seem hopeless at this point. I know they are lying to me when they say I am pretty or something. Because I know friends have to say those things. It hurts the most when they don’t say anything. They just become silent. I know what they are thinking though. I am not stupid. Can anyone really help me at this point? Or am I always just going to be the helper. When will anyone rescue me? When will the helper be helped? Help me with out making me lose my dignity. Say something to me. Just tell me and I want to believe you guys but its to cliché and it seems like stupid advice.
*- Help the Helper*
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